The Oxy High

Unfortionatly due to the overwelming conditions that run in my family I was cursed with my fair share. Not to go into uncomfortable details but my uterus and ovaries do not function properly, causing severe paralyzing pain mainly during my monthly visit. Dont like knowing about this? then don't read. Piss off. 
I have chronic cysts that tent to burst on my ovaries where I've ended up in the hospital numorous times leading to heavy amounts of morphine =). Endometriosis runs on my mothers side and the doctors and I are leaning towards that being the case for me aswell. I will be getting tested for this condition(requiring minor exploritory surgery) to confirm. This condition causing crippling pain (mainly in lower back). I can honestly say I've never experienced anything more painful in my entire exsistence then my cramps. Recently I ended up in the hospital twice from the pain. I was given a new perscription painkiller to take along with the Naproxen Im currently on, which is actually a painkiller given to atheletes with severe injuries. The narcotic is Oxycodone which is just another type of Oxycotin. This apparently gives you a similar high as heroin. Now I am in no way a "for drugs" kind of person. I do not smoke, and I do not smoke weed, Oxycotin is a very serious drug. I am on this strickly because when I get the full blown pain I am curled into a fetal position clenching my stomach hyperventilating and screaming from the most brutal pain I think could ever exsist and this happens every 28 days 0_o, I've wanted to kill myself from this much pain. Doctors compare it to a long constant labour pain. So I take 2 Naproxen and 1 Oxycodone and usually I only have to take this for the first day of my period. Today was the first day trying the Oxycodone. You can feel the pain slipping away and you still feel fine.. then finally you hit the kicker. Your mind shuts off for the initial rush and you sink into a major high for about 5-10 minutes.. it feels honestly amazing. Once you come down your at a nice steady high for about 4-6 hours.

Trust me.. when you feel pain that severe.. you dont care what drug you're on as long as it makes the pain go away.

Some info on Oxycodone -

Pain relievers such as aspirin and ibuprofen work at the site of the pain to reduce irritation. Oxycodone works differently. It moves into the brain and central nervous system and binds to receptors (nerve endings) that seek pleasure-enhancing and painkilling nerotransmitters. A substance that helps spread nerve impulses from one nerve to the other. Once the brain receives the medicine's message in its receptors, the patient no longer feels the pain. The condition causing the pain does not change, but the patient relaxes and the sensation of the pain is gone.
Taken as directed, oxycodone-containing medicines generally cause few side effects.
When oxycodone painkillers are abused, their effects are similar to the heroin high. This is because each extended-release dose of oxycodone contains a large amount of the drug. It is designed to be taken slowly, not to flood the body all at once. When crushed and eaten, snorted, or injected, a high dose of oxycodone floods the body and causes a rush of euphoria. The drug literally overwhelms all of the brain's receptors that search for endorphins. A group of naturally occuring substances in the body that relieve pain and promote a sense of well being. (molecules that act to relieve pain and to produce drowsiness). The user feels free of pain, anxiety, and unhappiness. After a few minutes of this intense euphoria, the user settles into a longer period of general pleasurable drowsiness and a dreamlike state.
While this drug can be safe and effective if used PROPERLY(perscription from doctor!) This drug can be extremely dangerous and it only takes one time to abuse it and lead to your death! Please do not abuse medication.. you only get one life, dont risk it. I'm not going to lie, this high is amazing and Im enjoying every minute of it, almost the sensation of floating and it puts your mind at such ease. Me being full of anxiety and tension this really calms your thoughts. And I float off ..at least for a few hours..

Celler Door

"Suddenly there came a tapping,  as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door..."

When moments of pure reality kick in, or is that insanity? Do you let your mind sweep you away. The doors open and you stumble down onto the darkened cobblestones only to lead you forward, deeper into your unknown. What awaits us? What is there to find? If you could get lost inside do you think you'd ever find your way back out? I often pounder my thoughts. I sit and I think, about nothing inparticular.

A chronic day dreamer, to get lost in myself. Is our dreams reality and when we are awake is this the fake? Maybe our dreams are simply another realm. I would gladly get lost in my dreams but of course, we always have to wake up.. dont we?