New Years Goals For 2013

Well if I'm going to be honest 2012 was not my best year. In fact nothing was really accomplished and I had a lot of issues to get through. Money was tight and I was often bored out of my mind. I refuse to let 2013 go down the same way. I'm tired of taking things for granted and then getting mad at myself when I do.
The truth is that I'm still pretty much lost with what I want to do with my life. Everyone's in school and working towards a career but you see.. I enjoy nothing enough to do it for the rest of my life. Even what I love if I do it everyday I begin to hate it, so how am I ever suppose to know what I want? But I guess one day at a time. I knew from a young age that I was never going to be the "9 to 5 type" Get up and be a robot and repeat the process.. it's just not my style. Tried for 3 years and I was miserable, so I guess that feeling of never wanting that to happen again, the fear of it constantly makes me uneasy. But I did set myself some simple goals that I hope to achieve this year.

Number 1: Move to the city

 I've never lived in the city before, and it's strange because the city would actually fit my personality perfectly. But you see I have severe generalized anxiety disorder. I lived in a small town all my life and then at the age of 19 I moved to a larger town just shy of being a very small city. But I can't grow as a person here anymore. And I want to met knew people, I want to get out and enjoy myself. I want to experience the new, I want a better job, I want connections and I want to get my talent and art out into the world. So, city here I come.

Number 2: Paint more

I've been severely lacking in my drawing and painting these last few years. The truth is I just have a hard time staying on task. But I can't get better if I don't continue. So my mission is to more frequently paint. My goal? To become the most talented painter at realism that I can push myself to be and to increase my overall ability to create. 

Number 3: Getting in Shape

Since this picture I've become even more in shape. In total I've lost about 25 pounds. I went from around 160 to 136 pounds and I did it very slowly to get into an eating habit and keep the weight off. In all honesty it wasn't hard at all. You don't realize how much pop, bits of junk food and snacking when bored packs on the pounds. I eat cleaner now and plan on permanently continuing this. I eat less processed food, little to no pop, much less junk food, less sugar and tons more fruits and veggies. I'll be getting a gym membership, many people say they will and never do. But I truly want to its just a matter of coming up with the money lol. Most importantly I don't just want to be leaner, I want to be strong, I want muscle, I want to be actually physically healthy and strong; and I will!

Number 4: Get Better in Relationships of all kinds

I've never been a big people person. Most of the time I feel extremely awkward around people, even people I know well. Although I know this is my personality and some things never change, I want to improve. I want to get out with people more and spend time with them. I have a hard time letting people in, and I don't trust, ever but I want to get more connected with people or at least as much as I can become connected lol honestly it feels odd bonding with people. And I want to continue loving my partner and keeping each other happy.

Number 5: Get My Modeling and Makeup Portfolio Out Into The World

For years now I've loved to model and do makeup. I love eccentric alternative fashion and heavy over the top makeup and I want to take it to the next level.

Number 6: Laugh and Smile More